Although this site is focused on how to please a woman, sexual satisfaction is a two-way street. That means your satisfaction is just as important as your partner’s.
So how are you going to protect your own enjoyment of sex?
You see, the time and effort which you put into sex, with the objective of pleasuring your partner, needs to be balanced with your own sexual satisfaction and joy from the relationship.
Advice To Men: How To Enjoy Sex More!
Start by assuming that man and woman are of equal importance in any sexual relationship, and so is their emotional, physical and sexual satisfaction.
How is that to happen? Here are a few ideas.
1 Put dates for sex in the diary.
Yes, put sex on your calendar.
How strange this sounds to those of us who have have spontaneous sex when the mood takes us. But it’s absolutely true – couples who are happiest with their sex lives schedule sex.
This works because a couple knows sex is coming and can look forward to it. This also avoids the excuses which tend to come up when one partner proposes intimacy spontaneously. (You can read ideas for and against scheduling sex here.)
And let’s face it, we all know it can sometimes seem easier to avoid sex than to go through the whole process. After all initiation, intimacy, connection, foreplay, arousal, penetration and orgasm require effort! (No matter how great the rewards of orgasm might be.)
In fact, whenever I’ve felt resistance to spontaneous sex, and I’ve done it anyway, I’ve been absolutely delighted that I did. Sure, sex is very pleasurable, but there’s more: it renews out emotional connection and our relationship has been more harmonious for some time afterwards.
So scheduling sex, with a timeslot reserved for mutual pleasuring, can be very rewarding.
Research proves some long term couples enjoy better sexual experiences when they schedule sex into their diaries.
The next tip which seems to be successful for couples who want to enjoy sex more and exchange mutual pleasuring is to ensure …
2 Have privacy and time to yourselves.
This means you create the environment you want. You put a lock on the bedroom door. You disconnect the phone. You remove the television. You ban the kids from entering the bedroom.
In other words this is about putting yourself and your sexual needs and desires first. By doing that, you show your partner how important it is to please each other.
This is about more than exchanging sexual pleasure. It’s also about clearly stating that sex is important to you. And it certainly is! We know women who have regular orgasms are much happier in their relationships than women who don’t.
In other words, the happiness of orgasm seems to spread well beyond the bedroom. And that’s true for men as well as women!
We previously suggested that you schedule sex, so the next tip might seem a bit strange:
3 Enjoy a quickie when you want one!
All of us know how pressure of children, home, work and family can disrupt our sex lives.
However, it’s incredibly important to maintain a sexual connection with your partner. You may only have time for “quickies”, but what a good way of avoiding dry spells in your sex life.
4 Be sexually adventurous.
The most successful sexual relationships combine a mixture of the predictable and the unexpected. In other words, they aren’t routine, but they aren’t too adventurous either. That helps keep intimacy and trust high.
Mixing it up is good!
You may be happy doing the same sexual things in the same way the same time on a regular basis. But many couples need to mix it up a bit. Whatever turns you on…. which may mean making love in different places, outdoors perhaps, or taking a romantic break at a hotel.
Children? Well, you can always arrange to have time to yourself. Leave the kids at their grandparents, or hire a babysitter and go to a motel. Adventurous sex is about intention and desire.
And it won’t surprise you, perhaps, to learn that the next tip is….
5 Ensure you have good communication.
Indeed, research has proven that the best sexual relationships are enjoyed by those couples who have the best communication.
And when you think about it, that makes sense. Without good communication, how can you learn how to please your woman in bed? Or tell your lover what would give you pleasure in the bedroom? Or say what you like and don’t like?
Well, you obviously can’t. And pleasing your partner shouldn’t be a matter of chance. Certainly for men, knowing how to please a woman is really important since we so often are the leaders in sex.
And by the way, don’t feel you have to have your conversations about sex and sexual desires when you’re making love! Better to talk about what you want when you’re not in the bedroom; by doing that, you will establish greater intimacy as well.
6 Avoid any excuses to stop having sex.
Having a headache, feeling tired, stressed, or having an argument, may look like good reasons for not wanting intimacy.
However, sex relieves pain, reduces stress, helps you sleep better, and diminishes disagreements. Loving intimacy and enjoyable orgasmic pleasure can have magical effects!
In essence, don’t let your sex life be disrupted by excuses . They are likely to become permanent blocks to enjoying mutual intimacy and orgasmic pleasure.
This means you can enjoy a pleasurable sex life with mutual satisfaction: you pleasure your partner and she pleasures you in return.
You may or may not realize that a great deal of trust is required for sex to reach the peak of pleasure.
When you think about it, though, it’s obvious. When a couple have an adventurous sex life, they need to be able to trust each other enough to enjoy the adventure as it unfolds.
And also, particularly for a woman, opening your heart and being fully vulnerable during sex is all about trust.
So the more intimate you can be with your partner, the more likely you are to enjoy sexual pleasure.
Of course it’s very easy in any relationship to say something critical or disrespectful without really intending to do so. That’s why it’s important such events are not left to fester and destroy trust, but are discussed in an intelligent way with active listening.
If you need to know more about communication skills you can read about them here.
One of the most important ways of ensuring you continue to want (and feel) sexual pleasure is staying in shape and paying attention to your appearance.
That way you will continue to find your partner desirable and he or she will find you desirable.
But sexual pleasure isn’t just about physical attractiveness, as you might well have guessed. Your sex drive or libido has a clear relationship to your overall health, as indeed does your sense of sexual self-esteem.
When you think about these tips, it becomes obvious that sexual pleasure is not something which is difficult to achieve – in fact really it’s a matter of common sense!
However, you do need to make some effort ….. but when you make that effort, you’ll find that sex can provide more pleasure than you ever imagined possible!