The Art of Romance

The Importance of Romance In Pleasuring A Woman

Do men and women mean different things when they talk about romance? And would you agree most men find it hard to be romantic, except perhaps in the intense excitement of a new relationship? What is it about romance which pleases a woman so much?

Romance is really important to women
Romance may be the key to (eventually) pleasuring a woman!

One thing’s for sure – women want much more romance. Unfortunately a lot of men don’t know quite what it means to be romantic.

Women do know all about romance, however. And they love it!

Romance for a woman is all about mutual affection, focused attention, and quality time spent together. And romance really matters to women. To a woman, a man being romantic is not only delightful – it’s proof he may be in love with her. And that’s going to open her heart to him, leading to the possibility of mutual pleasure in bed.

One way to think of romance is this: it’s anything which shows her you’ve taken the time and trouble to give her some special attention. That’s the kind of attention which makes her feel like she’s appreciated and valued.

And so those little gestures which show you’re thinking of your woman in a sweet, loving way can be the foundation of romance. 

How To Romance Her 

There are many ways in which you can be romantic. All of them will show her you that you know how to pleasure a woman, that you care about her, that you’re thinking about her, and you want to give her the romance she craves.

couple in love exchanging red roses
Find out how to really romance your women and the pleasure you get will be endless….

You see, romance doesn’t have to involve big gestures like expensive trips to hotels and financially ruinous presents. Oftentimes, the small gifts and small gestures of appreciation will do just as well in pleasing your woman. (If there are any women reading this, here’s what romance might mean to a guy.)

One thing that’s certain is that if you get this right, she will warm internally — no, she’ll melt! — and that means you’re likely to be enjoying a passionate sex life pretty regularly. That will, of course, give both you and her great fulfillment, satisfaction and sexual pleasure in bed.

Video – How to be romantic (advice for men)

Now, I don’t want you to think that romance is just a means to get sex from a woman. That’s far too cynical. A much healthier way of seeing it is as a form of foreplay, which warms her heart and primes her mind so that she’s ready to open up to you sexually.

I think most women would agree I’m right about that. It follows that the best way to be romantic is to get to know your partner well and to work out what she’d appreciate most. So, for example, flowers are an obvious romantic gesture, and they’re really valued by women. But there are more individual things you can do to please your partner:

  • leave little notes for her lying around the house which express your love for her
  • tell her how much you enjoy being with her, or how much you look forward to giving her pleasure in bed
  • work out an evening routine of romantic interaction — bathe together, light candles in the bedroom, put petals on her pillow, offer her a massage…
  • kiss her unexpectedly, tenderly, and passionately
  • tell her, sincerely and clearly, what you like about her and what she’s done for you
  • create a special romantic day once in a while that you spend together, perhaps ending with a romantic dinner for two.

Romance Is For Ever

I’ve heard it said by many men that when a relationship has been going for a while, there’s no point being romantic. But why not? Romance isn’t just a part of the “chase”, something to be given up when you catch your woman!

Abandoning romance seems very uncaring of a woman’s needs and wants, and surely you want to please her? After all, she’s probably spending a lot of time making you feel good, so why not return the pleasure to her?

You see, romance doesn’t have to be difficult. Nor does discovering how to pleasure a woman. In fact, if you do things you both enjoy it can be positively delightful for you as well!

Romance can be a joy for men and women alike and leads to sexual pleasure.
Romance can delight both men and women.

But the fact that we men so often forget anniversaries or birthdays does say something quite remarkable about our priorities!  A woman rarely forgets your birthday or your anniversary. You see, you’re special to her.

Without going into why this might be, just accept that she really values these romantic occasions. And you can show how much pleasure she gives you and how much you appreciate her. Simply put these dates in your diary each year on January 1st. That way, you won’t forget them! 

Kissing – The First Steps Towards Sexual Pleasure!

In my experience, a lot of women think kissing is one of the most romantic things that a man can do for them. That’s why it’s important that you know how to kiss well. A good kiss can really change the way a woman feels towards you. (Not to mention the fact that kissing can get her in the mood for something more sexual!)

Kissing a woman - anticipating the connection
Kissing a woman – get her anticipating the connection

 So what’s a good kiss? One that excites her, maybe one that gives her pleasure, for sure. Kissing isn’t just about putting your lips on hers and pressing hard! You need a bit of technique, and the best way to get this right is simply to focus on what you’re doing.

In other words, when you’re kissing her put all of your affection, attention and focus into your lips and tongue. Focus on sending her your warmth, appreciation and love through your lips and tongue. You might want to put one hand behind her head, or place the palms of your hands on her cheeks as you kiss her.

Men usually control the way a couple kisses, since they’re usually the ones who instigate it. So set the tone and make sure you’re kissing in the way most likely to please her. This means kissing in a way which suits the woman you’re with now, not in the way that suited your last girlfriend!

Kissing is always a good way to start pleasuring a woman.
Kissing is one of the most romantic things a man can offer a woman.

Women will pick up a lot from a kiss: they’ll know whether you’re feeling passionate, attached, affectionate, detached, indifferent, selfish, nervous … or whatever. But there is a complication…. tongue or no tongue? 

How would you know the best way to go? Answer: take it gently, and see how she responds.

The first thing is to make sure she’s actually enjoying having your tongue in her mouth. She’s likely to respond more passionately when she’s more turned on; in the early stages of a romantic or sexual encounter, she may want you to be more restrained.

So, for example, you could run the tip of your tongue gently round inside her lips and see how she responds before going any further.

Let’s face it, you’re an adult man, you’ve had some sexual experience (or maybe plenty of sexual experience). By now, you know how to pleasure a woman. And you know if a woman’s getting pleasure from what you’re doing. And you can respond to her enjoyment by pushing things further forward.

In the end, it’s about consideration of her feelings. It’s about respecting what she wants. It’s about taking romance and sex at the right pace for her.

You’re the leader here, and that’s the way both she and you will feel comfortable and safe. One final point — don’t forget kisses communicate meaning – a tender kiss can communicate love, while a passionate kiss will convey sexual desire.

Moving On From Mere Pleasantries

Sex is a lot more pleasurable (in or out of bed!) when your woman is first romanced and wooed.  In bed, she needs to be well aroused with foreplay before you move to sexual intercourse. 

Of course, foreplay can be sexual – there’s no clear dividing line between foreplay and sex. But in general it takes 10 to 20 times longer for a woman to get aroused than it does a man. And so a lot of foreplay is needed before you start on the pleasures of oral sex and penetration.

sexual pleasure for a woman
Knowing how to give a woman pleasure in bed is not enough. You also need lots of love and romance – not to mention foreplay.

The Pleasure Of Foreplay For A Woman

For a woman, foreplay involves kissing, touching, gentle caressing, whole body contact, looking into each other’s eyes, exchanging loving words, cuddles, hugs, and more kisses!

After lots of that you can move on to the pleasure of touch on breasts, nipples and vulva. Finally you can be  really intimate, with tongue and lips on breasts, labia, clitoris, or vulva.

Many men ask how to pleasure a woman most skillfully. Well, women need to go so slowly at first. In general women don’t open to sexual pleasure as fast as men do.

One reason for this is that women see sex differently to men. For a woman, allowing you inside her body is both a physical and a deeply psychological thing. Before she can fully embrace you as her lover she has to trust you. And one of the deeper aspects of this trust is knowing that you don’t just want her body for sex. The good news is that foreplay can be pleasurable for both of you.

Foreplay and sexual pleasure.
Foreplay leads to greater sexual pleasure.

Of course a woman can have a relationship with a man which is based purely on mutual sexual desire.

However, most women, most of the time, need to trust a man before they can fully open their bodies and their sexual selves to receive him fully. (And “fully” means in heart, body and mind.)

A woman who is aroused in this way is going to enjoy sex much more, and it’s going to be a heck of a lot more enjoyable for YOU, too!


As we know, men love to chase women, and love the reward of ultimately getting the conquest – the thrill of having the woman who attracted them.

In the passion and excitement that can ensue, try to keep in mind the need for caring words of appreciation, and expressions of your feelings towards her: telling her honestly how you feel about her will cement your relationship with her and offer her reassurance about what exactly you want from her.

Finally, it’s often much better to slow things down and wait for sex than to trying get it at the first opportunity.

Take things slowly. Let your moves towards sexual pleasure evolve at their own pace. Allow your feelings for each other to develop naturally to the point. Before discovering how to pleasure your woman in bed, get to know her as a person first. This will pay real dividends in being relaxed and comfortable when you’re in bed!


How to truly satisfy any woman in bed!